The Language of the Modern Age

About Uasi

Uasi is a constructed language created for English speakers.

The purpose of Uasi is divided into various parts:

  1. to be able to speak to other Uasi speakers as a "secret code" so that others cannot understand or decode your conversations
  2. to learn a second language with the least amount of effort, memorization, and time possible
  3. to provide a form of mental stimulation that occurs only when one is challenging their brain in new ways
  4. and finally - the most important feature - to have fun with friends and family
The most powerful element about Uasi is the fact that the Uasi dictionary is already inside you. Each and every vocabulary word is in your reach without having to meticulously memorize countless dictionary entries. What is required from you is to translate from English to Uasi mentally in your head, in accordance with the rules of the language. All of the rules can be learned in a single day. What will remain is simply to practice the language in order to increase speed and fluency.

The Chronicles of Uasi


The Uasins have always been proud of their untainted genetic lineage. How did they sustain such a pure breed? It has been foretold that the ancestors of the Uasins came from Africa. However, they evolved in a very unparalleled fashion from modern Homo Sapiens. The ancestors of the Uasins distanced themselves from the other pre-humans, already intent on preserving their pureness. Thus, they traveled to the southern tip of Africa and established a primitive settlement.

Hundreds of thousands of years ago, a colossal chunk of a glacial mass roughly the size of Rhode Island broke off from the Antarctic and went adrift. Due to the major ocean currents, the glacier was carried from Antarctica and eventually collided with southern Africa. The pre-Uasin apes in south Africa roamed onto the ice sheet, believing it to be more African land. The glacier departed and started to drift north through the Atlantic ocean between South America and Africa. The ice chunk continued to shrink until it was the size of a football field, constricting the several hundred pre-Uasin simian creatures aboard. Eventually they leaped off and swam ashore the closest terrain. That land is known today as modern Portugal, on the Iberian Peninsula. Anthropologists speculate that the migratory exodus lasted 6 or 7 generations of wandering until they permanently settled in the region that is now called Andorra. As we know, modern humans traveled north out of Africa and slowly began colonizing the globe. Although it wasn't until dozens of thousands of years after the Uasins had arrived, humans eventually encountered the Uasins and inhabited the land next to them. This was the first known contact between humans and Uasins.


In the realm of good and evil, there are sometimes conflicting narratives concerning what is true and false. Back in the times of old there were two tribes that lived in Andorra. The first were modern Homo Sapiens that became what we think of Andorrans today. The second tribe was a much smaller group of Human-like simians called the Uasins. Despite their shared geographic region, the Uasins and Andorrans remained distinct due to the Uasins’ insistence that their tribe remain pure. The tribes managed to coexist in harmony for a while.

The Uasins were highly intelligent and valued science and philosophy. After many years of pharmaceutical research, the Uasins designed Opiack, a plant that is composed of a highly addictive substance that is known for its short, very hallucinogenic high. Although this was regarded as a great scientific achievement, the Uasins did not partake in using the substance, as it was thought to dull the mind which was so highly valued. The Andorrans, however, did not give a damn, and craved the Opiack with full vivacity. The Andorrans forced a deal with the Uasins in which they would provide manual labor in exchange for Opiack. The Uasins, in an effort to maintain harmonious relations, decided to accept the deal, although it went against their conscience.

At the start of the 1980s the Uasins underwent a cultural revolution in which they sought to live life in a more upstanding way. Despite never using Opiack themselves, they began to feel guilty that they were exploiting the Andorrans by providing them the sacred drug. The Uasins thus decided that they would enter a new age of righteousness with their neighbors by cutting them off the harmful substance. The Andorrans tried to reverse engineer Opiack, but were unsuccessful because growing it required the unique seeds and soil that was only present in the Uasin territory. Not to mention it is also doubted amongst biologists that the Andorrans had the mental capacities to recreate the drug, since human brains are estimated to be about 20% smaller than the superior Uasin brain.

Likely due to the growing anger, in 1982 the Andorrans launched an unprompted assault on the Uasins - caused by their chemical Opiack withdrawals - over their lack of the beloved drug. On October 11, 1984 the Andorrans issued an ultimatum to the Uasin people, that they would continue their attack if the Uasins did not supply them with more Opiack. “Attack or Opiack” became the slogan of the newly elected Andorran government. The Uasins refused to provide the Andorrans with the addictive narcotics. Having exercised their muscles from manual labor for generations, the Andorrans had the brawn to quickly wipe out nearly nine tenths of the Uasin population.

After the genocide, the Andorran government then sought to destroy all information regarding the existence of the Uasi people, eradicate all documents related to the war and genocide, and conceal the Andorran's hopeless addiction to Opiack. This campaign has been considered very successful, as the Andorrans have removed mention of the Uasi people from virtually all historical documents and texts.

The remainder of the Uasins that survived were driven to burrow underground like mole-rats. There they subsist today, sustained entirely off the nutrients provided by the remaining subsurface Opiack roots. They are a resourceful people and able to endure as troglodytes. Because the roots are being consumed by Uasins, the Andorrans have not been able to find any growing soil-level Opiack plants. Andorrans attempt to burn the topsoil in order to kill the roots and starve out the Uasins. There are rumors that a meager group of Andorrans who are Uasin sympathizers stealthily re-water the soil at night to continue to provide sustenance to those in hiding.


"Uasins like my brother and I avoided the violence because we were smuggled out of the country by our parents. We lived in exile for many years and were forced to watch the Andorrans successfully eradicate much of the Uasi culture, language, and folklore. We now seek to save our traditions by passing on the Uasi tongue to the next generation and to the world." - Nock HirshS


By "folkore", we mean "fact". The Uasin cock is moderaterly larger than the average human penis. However, the density of an Uasin schlong is composed of the most dense material found on Earth: osmium. When an Uasin dies, the dick becomes fully erect and ejecualtes a flame from the tip. All organic matter of the Uasin instantly decays except for the victorious dick. These genitalia are placed in underground catacombs, where the walls are laced with the majestic, pulsating dicks vertically standing and eternally illuminating the Uasin life force with a flame of victory.


Under construction, sorry...

How To

LEARN: Refer to the official guide to go from novice to pro in ten minutes - it takes a few decades to go from pro to native.

VISION: Our vision is to see Uasi as the world language.

Official Guide

Click below to become an Uasi speaker

Official Guide


Translate English to Uasi

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Translate Uasi to English

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Real Reviews from Real People!

"I'm a retired Vet from Nam. Uasi keeps my mind sharp and gives me something fun to do with the grandchildren."

"I speak Spanish to god, Italian to women, French to men, German to my horse... and UASI when I want to have fun! Thanks Uasi creators for bringing this new joy into my life! I taught my buddies at the gym a little, and now they all call me 'Osi moghtS uni' haha!"

"I was always an outcast at school; I sat alone on the bus and ate lunch solo in the cafeteria. But the day I brought my Uasi T-shirt and workbook to school and elegantly spoke, everything changed. Thanks UASI. Sua chengiL mS lofi!"

"Uasi saved my marriage. Communication is key to success in relationship, and Uasi made communicating fun and easy!"

"I tried to learn Korean; couldn't do it. Italian; couldn't do. Arabic; couldn't do it. Uasi; DID IT!"

"Uasi gets me all the babes"

"The Uasi community is vast! I never would have imagined how many people speak Uasi! I'm tellin' ya, they're more numerous than the Chinese!"

Uasi's Presence on the Internet

Wikipedia - Language Game

This Guy's Reddit Post

Uasi's Sister Language: Viesa

The Original Website

A Crappy Website Article


Send us a message with questions or compliments!

preferably in Uasi...